Roasting a frozen bird can produce a better turkey.

And many food safety types agree.

Elizabeth Weise of USA Today writes the technique involves a hot oven, an icy bird and six hours to hang out with your relatives.

While the technique turns out not to be new, it's gaining traction because of a Web publication outlining how to do it by Pete Snyder of the Hospitality Institute of Technology and Management, which does safety training for food companies.

"The breast is still moist and the dark meat is still tender," Snyder says from his office in St. Paul. It's also excellent for food safety "because you didn't drip that nasty turkey juice on everything in the refrigerator for four days."

Donald Schaffner, a food microbiologist at Rutgers University in New Brunswick, N.J., says from a safety perspective Snyder's right. "A frozen turkey is going to spread less contamination around your kitchen than a thawed turkey."

Snyder tested the technique because "I had been one of those people that had woken up at 7:30 in the morning and the turkey was still frozen." But being a food-safety professional, he decided to throw in a few temperature-measuring thermocouplers.

He placed them at various points on multiple frozen turkeys as they roasted. What was happening in the oven, he found, was "the first half of the cooking period thaws the turkey and then the second half roasts it," he says.

His technique is simple:
Take one frozen turkey, 12 to 13 pounds.
Place a low wire rack on a cookie sheet with low sides.
Remove the plastic cover from the turkey.
Put the turkey on the rack.
Put it in a 325-degree oven.
Wait 4½ to five hours.
Eat.

Snyder recommends using a cookie sheet or another baking sheet with a low rim, not a high-sided roasting pan. "You want the hot oven air to evenly circulate all around the turkey," he says.

He also recommends putting the turkey on a rack on the pan so that the hot air can circulate underneath, as well.

The U.S. Department of Agriculture's food-safety experts agree with Snyder. Kathy Bernard of USDA's Meat and Poultry Hotline says "you can cook a turkey from a frozen state, the only thing you need to know is that it takes one and a half times longer to cook" than a thawed bird.

The technique is well known to the folks on the Butterball Turkey Talk-line. They get "lots" of calls on the topic Thanksgiving morning, says Carol Miller. She has been answering frantic questions for 27 years out of the Naperville, Ill., office.

The ideal final temperatures for the turkey is 160 degrees at the breast and 185 for the legs. But Snyder doesn't think a thermometer is necessary because you can tell when the leg has reached 185 because "it will wiggle back and forth really easily" because the connective tissues will have begun to dissolve at that temperature, he says.

USDA isn't so keen on the "wigging the leg" method of testing for doneness. "You need to use your food thermometer, you need to make sure the turkey should register 165 in the innermost part of thigh and the thickest part of the breast," Bernard says.

Butterball's Miller says this is the time to canvass the neighborhood. "You really need a meat thermometer. If you don't have one, give a guest a call and see if they can bring one. Or go to a convenience store. Or knock on a neighbor's door."

The one area where Snyder and other turkey experts differ is on the matter of the neck and giblets, which in most commercially prepared turkeys will be placed in the neck and body cavity.

Snyder says that after about 2½ to three hours the turkey will have thawed enough that you can "carefully" pull them out of the warming bird to start to make stock. "You can leave them in, but then you don't have them for the gravy," he says.

Butterball's Miller disagrees. The bag they come is "designed to go through that heating process, so that's not a problem." Trying to remove a slippery bag tucked deep in a turkey straight out of a hot oven — especially when everyone's stressed about getting things done on time — just isn't necessary. "They're just as happy staying right where they are. That's our recommendation and we've been doing this for 30 years."

The one thing you can't do with a frozen turkey is deep fry it, because the frozen liquid can cause the oil to boil over, Snyder says. "That would be very, very dangerous."

 “I’m sorry you feel that way” is the super-supreme of backhanded apologies.

“I’m having an affair with a younger, hotter, smarter person and want a divorce.”
“That’s really hurtful.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“I’ve appreciated working with you for 20 years but am going to join a startup and cash in on all our corporate secrets because you have bad breath.”
“That’s really ungrateful.”
“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“I’d like to invite you, as a valued food blogger, to Sotto Terra, an intimate and underground Italian restaurant in New York City, where you will enjoy a delicious four-course meal hosted by George Duran, the chef who hosts the Ultimate Cake Off on TLC and learn about food trends from a food industry analyst, Phil Lempert. But really we’re going to serve Three Meat and Four Cheese Lasagna and Razzleberry Pie, by Marie Callender’s, a frozen line from ConAgra Foods, and record your reaction on hidden camera.”
“That’s really deceitful.”
“(We) understand that there were people who were disappointed and we’re sorry — we apologize that they felt that way.”

The last one actually happened.

The backhanded apology came from PR-type Jackie Burton at the Ketchum public relations unit of the Omnicom Group, hired by ConAgra to orchestrate the stunt.

As usual, ConAgra is behind the times. The bloggers were having none of it and took to the Intertubes to vent their gastronomic rage.

As reported in the N.Y. Times:

“Our entire meal was a SHAM!” wrote Suzanne Chan, founder of Mom Confessionals, in a blog post after the event. “We were unwilling participants in a bait-and-switch for Marie Callender’s new frozen three cheese lasagna and there were cameras watching our reactions.”

On FoodMayhem.com, a blog by Lon Binder and Jessica Lee Binder, Mr. Binder wrote that during a discussion led by Mr. Lempert before the meal, Mr. Binder spoke against artificial ingredients while Ms. Binder mentioned being allergic to food coloring. When the lasagna arrived, Ms. Binder was served a zucchini dish, while Mr. Binder was served lasagna.

“We discussed with the group the sad state of chemical-filled foods,” wrote Mr. Binder. “And yet, you still fed me the exact thing I said I did not want to eat.” (Among the ingredients in the lasagna: sodium nitrate, BHA, BHT, disodium inosinate and disodium guanylate.)

On the evening she attended, Cindy Zhou wrote on her blog, Chubby Chinese Girl, that during the pre-meal discussion, she “pointed out that the reason I ate organic, fresh and good food was because my calories are very precious to me, so I want to use them wisely. … Yet they were serving us a frozen meal, loaded with sodium.” (An 8-ounce serving of the lasagna contains 860 milligrams of sodium, 36 percent of the recommended daily allowance.) I’m NOT their target consumer and they were totally off by thinking I would buy or promote their highly processed frozen foods after tricking me to taste it.”

Four years ago next month, ConAgra Banquet pot pies sickened at least 272 people in 35 states with salmonella. When the outbreak was initially announced, Con Agra said, don’t worry, just follow the instructions and everything will be fine.

Those instructions sucked. And didn’t work, as shown in my kitchen-experiment at the time. So ConAgra finally decided to recall the suspect pies, changed a few things, and everyone went back to sleep.

In June 2010 a variety of ConAgra’s Marie Callender frozen food thingies sickened at least 29 people in 14 states with salmonella.

And now this month, the entire PR apparatus of the U.S. Department of Agriculture, the International Food Information Council, and the other usual suspects is using its bully pulpit of Consumer Food Safety Education month to tell consumers that when it comes to frozen meals, ‘cook it safe.’

The press materials are akin to a users manual for a $0.50 pot pie. And if someone gets sick, it’s their own fault for not knowing how to properly measure the wattage of their microwave using a measuring cup, water and ice (did MacGyver write the instructions?)

Officially, USDA gave up blaming consumers for cooking mishaps with ground beef back in 1994 as E. coli O157:H7 burst onto the scene. Not so with frozen thingies.

“Frozen or refrigerated convenience foods are popular items in many Americans’ homes, but there are a lot of misconceptions when it comes to cooking these foods,” said FSIS Administrator Al Almanza. “Some of them can be microwaved, but others can’t. The ‘Cook It Safe’ campaign is designed to heighten awareness of this problem and correct misconceptions, putting an end to needless, preventable illnesses.”

If consumers get sick and have grudges about complicated instructions, the lack of clear differentiation between raw, frozen meals and cooked, frozen meals, and questions about why raw hazardous ingredients are in frozen meals, no worries: everyone will be really sorry you feel that way.

I have frozen berries most mornings with either oatmeal or buckwheat pancakes, and often with ice cream. I prefer the mixture of raspberries, blackberries and blueberries. Amy doesn’t like the blackberries. Sorenne is a big fan of the blueberry. We also have fresh berries for a few months from my limited growing area and, more importantly, limited growing skill.

There have been multiple outbreaks of norovirus linked to frozen raspberries in several northern European countries, often linked to berries grown in southern European countries.

The journal Epidemiology and Infection has a great summary of 13 norovirus outbreaks in Finland in 2009 linked to frozen raspberries which sickened at least 900 people. Abstract below.

Multiple norovirus outbreaks linked to imported frozen raspberries
22.mar.11
E. Sarvikivi, M. Roivainen, L. Maunula, T. Niskanen, T. Korhonena, M. Lappalainen and M. Kuusi
http://journals.cambridge.org/action/displayAbstract?fromPage=online&aid=8235204
SUMMARY
In 2009, the number of foodborne norovirus outbreaks in Finland seemed markedly high, and many outbreaks seemed to be linked to imported frozen raspberries. We reviewed the data regarding all notified foodborne outbreaks in 2009 in Finland in order to assess the magnitude of the problem and to summarize the information on raspberry–linked outbreaks. Between March and August, 13 norovirus outbreaks affecting about 900 people could be linked to imported frozen raspberries. Two raspberry samples corresponding to two batches of raspberries were positive for norovirus. These two batches proved to have been the likely source in six of the 13 outbreaks. Analytical studies had not been conducted for six outbreaks, and virological test results were inconclusive in two. However, combining epidemiological and microbiological methods often enabled finding the source, as exemplified in investigation of a large school outbreak. To ensure prompt control measures in similar situations in the future, both aspects of outbreak investigations should be strengthened.
 

Last week, Stephen Colbert announced a recall of his fictional cookbook, "I Eat America (And So Can You!)" due to a production error beyond his control (right).

Apparently drawing on outbreaks of salmonella and campylobacter involving raw, frozen, breaded chicken thingies, Colbert said his recipe for Chicken Col-Don Bleu may actually need to be cooked.

He might as well be on the Food Network, what with it’s terrible food safety, is finally reaching the outer limits of food porn – ratings are going down.

Food Network and sister network HGTV -- Scripps Networks' two biggest money-makers -- are seeing troubling signs that their core female fans are starting to look elsewhere for entertaining fare. After years of growth, both networks experienced their first major ratings falloff at the end of last year.

In the fourth quarter, Food Network, which helped launch the careers of celebrity chefs Sandra Lee and Rachael Ray, posted a 10.3 percent drop among viewers ages 25 to 54, considered a key category for advertisers.

Most troubling, primetime ratings for women -- the primary audience for both channels -- were down in December. Food Network ratings among women ages 18 to 49, and 25 to 54, fell 9 percent last month.

Part of the challenge for the food-focused channel is shifting tastes, with viewers going for edgier culinary "reality" competition shows.

I suggest a reality food safety show where the barfing and crapping and sometimes life-long gifts of foodborne illness are displayed in their glory. Would probably work on youtube.