If cat poop coffee is just too passé, then coffee made from beans that have passed through the digestive tract of the rare South American Jacu bird may be for you.

The bird apparently eats only the best, ripest Arabica berries and excretes the beans in piles under the coffee trees, which are then collected, washed, dried and roasted in the usual way.

It’s being sold in Brisbane at Merlo cafes during December (they claim to be the only importers of the coffee in Australia). This particular Jacu coffee comes from Camocim Estate, a certified biodynamic/fairtrade farm in Pedra Azul, Espirito Santo, Brazil.

For those who lwant to pay $10 for a cup of poop coffee, Food Network star Ted Allen teamed up with The Onion’s “Today Now!” to prepare a meal to try and impress pretentious asshole friends with.

Ingredients include:
• stupid ass trendy piece of fish
some kind of nut you never heard of
; and,
• puree of baby something or other.

1. Chose the most expensive piece of fish you can find

2. Spend way too much time processing nuts

3. Dredge fish in nuts

4. Cook for 3 minutes per side

5. painstakingly prepare turnips when you could just have gotten them from a can.

The video promoting Ted’s book is available at http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=RMUDw4_e93Y. Language warning.