The Marie Callender's brand of frozen food seems to be regarded as a little more upscale.

But they can still get poop in their products.

ConAgra is recalling the always classy, Cheesy Chicken and Rice frozen meals, as announced by the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Food Safety and Inspection Service (FSIS).

That’s because 29 people in 14 U.S. states have been diagnosed with Salmonella Chester over the past couple of months.

Maybe all the sick people independently left the products out for a couple of days, let the cats poop on the counter, and didn’t shower for a week.

Because that is what USDA is saying with its paternalistic reminders for consumers to be the most skilled line of food safety defense.

Maybe consumers should don scuba gear and plug the Gulf oil spoil themselves, or if only consumers took more precautions, bad things wouldn’t happen.

While the recalled products should be safely discarded and not consumed, FSIS would also remind consumers how to safely prepare other, non-recalled frozen entrees. FSIS strongly urges consumers to always follow all cooking and preparation instructions on the label. Special attention to proper heating is important to ensure the entrees are fully cooked and all ingredients reach a safe minimum internal temperature of 165°F. Consumers should use a food thermometer to make sure the entrees reach at least 165°F.

These things are frozen products; people pop them in the microwave or cook them in any variety of ways, as we laid out in our peer-reviewed research paper last year, I’ve spoken with ConAgra, I gave a talk from New Zealand (while nude, in bed) for ConAgra’s science board, but they still want to blame consumers for frozen product.

So this multi-billion dollar company gets a bunch of sick people related to their product produced with the highest safety standards, and they tell consumers, do better.

Hopeless. And sorta gross.