I was on a trip with some Kansas Staters earlier this week, and at a dinner, one of them started talking about a report he’d heard on NPR (National Public Radio) earlier that week.

I said, “State-sponsored jazz.”

He looked at me like I was special, because, how hard is it to repeat lines from the Colbert Report.

Satire, like the Intertubes, is lost on some people.

The Vancouver television section of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) ran a bunch of food safety stories in the run-up to Canadian Thanksgiving on Oct. 11, 2010. An astute reader e-mailed me to say, “You may want to check out their ‘food-safety facts.’” I have no idea where these alleged facts came from, but the BS highlights include:

2. "Pot luck meals are responsible for a large amount of food poisonings. They are usually caused by poor food temperature controls in egg or meat products."

4. "Harmful bacteria does not stop multiplying unless refrigerated below 5 degrees. However, most refrigerators are not capable of this temperature."

7. "Do not eat foods directly from a jar or can. Saliva can contaminate the contents inside."

8. "Peanut butter needs to be stored in a refrigerator after opening to prevent the fats from going rancid.”

None of these facts are substantiated, and there is plenty of available evidence to counter these claims. As the reader points out, nothing is mentioned about cross-contamination or handwashing.

Hate is a strong word, but I hate jazz. Especially state-sponsored jazz. And terrible taxpayer-funded news.